Note to the reader- To fully appreciate the craziness, refer previous post- Beta Version Bitch (Chapter 1)
Dude that’s trippy! Koyal said wide-eyed.
Don’t Sush me, hey, where are you going?
I need sex, Payal declared
I need sex
Yeeesss, Call me a Uber, Payal started to pull herself out of the impossible to get out of bean bag.
Where are you going? Payal, have you not had enough action for a day? Pun intended
This time, Payal whistled appreciatively, Not bad kiddo, you’re catching on. Welcome aboard the bitch train.
Hey, it’s not a bad thing, when you call a guy a dog, it’s swaggy, implies he’s a player, he’s hot shit. So by that equation..
Don’t try and sell that rubbish to me. And since when did you become such a Champion of debauchery.
Then don’t get all Rodriguez (much hated ex-hostel-warden) on me.
That R word again, hey you can’t leave now, you can go around looking for HIV later, you need to sit your ass down Payal Shastri and tell me what else besides assault and blackmail, have been cooking for the past 6 months that has the potential of landing you in Tihar (big fat jail in India). You do it and you do it right now.
And she bitches when I call her the R word, the injustice of it all. Payal sighed in mock horror, and flopped back next to Koyal. It was all quite for a while in the balcony of her 1bhk at Cuffe Parade (area in Mumbai) apartment.
A little while later Cookie stumbled into the balcony, sleepily wagging her tail and sat between the girls, joining them in their staring contest with the stars.
Eeeee, chee cookie, don’t lick damnit, Koyal jumped startling Payal out of her reverie.
Don’t mind her coocoo, she’s a prude. Payal sniggered petting her 5 year old half terrier half mogrel, in an attempt to calm the timid, well, bitch.
Koyal made a face at Payal and petted Cookie in defiance
Arey, don’t start that again, dude. What else? What else have you done that I should know.
No Koyal, I have done nothing else that you should know.
I am your best friend and I should know everything.
Koyal look hurt.
Ok fine, see Koyal at that time I was sure of one thing and one thing alone, he was going to pay and I was not, I was done paying for god alone know what I did wrong in life, what bad karma came in Surya’s form to fuck my sanity. I was going to get back at him and I was getting out unscathed. So I have my tracks covered. You needn’t worry, mommy dearest.
Koyal cringed, seriously you’re going to throw the M word at me now? She took her phone out angrily, I am calling you that Uber, go get laid or something.
Payal chuckled fondly. Now that’s the Koyal I remember, achcha sun (desi for ‘Ok Listen’), initially I did nothing, I just paid attention, right until that night I had been in denial, the first thing I did was take that veil of denial off my mind. It was like an out of body experience, I stopped feeling mad, hurt, and ashamed. I was observing him, like he was a frog on a clipboard at our bio lab.
Koyal fake winced then laughed. Then?
Well, there was a lot wrong with Surya, besides the cheating, the physiological torture, and bad mouthing. He was obviously stealing from his father. He slept around with his friend’s girlfriends, wives, man don’t ask the list is endless. I was blind, No, worse, I choose to be blind. For that yes I deserved the shit hand I was dealt…
The doorbell rang.
Koyal squinted at her tiny wrist watch, the damn thing said it was 3 am.
Both girls looked at each other, silently willing for whoever it was to go away.
Then her phone rang, Surya again.
Payal felt something in the pit of her stomach deflate, to her credit she hadn’t displayed her panic yet, knowing how Koyal would feed on it in frenzy.
The persistent doorbell was now accompanied by insistent banging on the door.
Payal picked up the call and ceremoniously put it on speaker.
Payal scoffed, Now that’s original.
I want that recording now, or I am going to kill you. I will tear you pie hole to pie hole if you don’t open the door right now.
Payal inhaled, she felt a strange calm cocoon her, she didn’t realize what was the point of all this, all of the past 6 months.
It was this, this animal at display, in its true form. She grinned sheepishly at Koyal who was back to panic, mouth gaping and staring disbelievingly. Surya kind, gentlemanly, polite, refined
Surya now had another human being see what he could be. This was bliss.
Payal cleared her throat to break the sudden pin drop silence that was making her feel uncomfortable and said,
No Surya, you might be able to tear me, what was it you said, right, pie hole to pie hole if I open the door. Sweetheart fuck you very much but no, and like you have so been warned earlier today, this is a foul. And you shall be penalized, I will select what my heart so desires from my arsenal of damaging truths about you, and ram them in your ass. Adios.
Payal dropped the call and the girls waited, cookie waited. Why had this silly billy not barked amidst all the ruckus, Payal wondered. Moody thing knew I can handle it, she smiled
What are you grinning about now! Koyal hissed, I think I should call Rafik over, we should not be by ourselves tonight.
Give it a minute.
They waited in silence for the phone to ring again for the doorbell to ring again. Nothing.
Then after a full 5 minutes of absolute silence the doorbell rang, a polite single ting tong.
Payal got up and headed towards the door, Koyal leapt after her to body block her if necessary.
What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Getting the door.
It’s not Surya.
You don’t know that!
I do, I was with the man for 8 years I know how he rings the doorbell, now get out of my way before I punch you in your boobs.
Given the evening’s events Koyal did not trust Payal, she could make good on that threat, and so albeit reluctantly, she made way.
Peeping out of the peep-hole, Payal found Saundesh Uncle, her next door neighbor, all of eighty stood disheveled, armed with a double barrel at her door. Payal covered her mouth and stifled her laugh, while hand signally Koyal to get her phone.
Turn the camera on, turn the flash off, when I open the door, please if you love me, discreetly get me just one good photo of Saundesh uncle.
Koyal just nodded confused, she realized that she had now figured out her official limit for processing bizarre events for a day. Photographing an agitated eighty year old with a double barrel at 3:30 am was it.